


Beware: Naked People Ahead

by SonnenFlower



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Curses, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Hermione's Nook's Naked Weasley Fest 2020, Humor, Infectiv Nudity, M/M, Nudity, POV Alternating, Public Nudity, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, it spreads, non-consentual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:55:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25128097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonnenFlower/pseuds/SonnenFlower
Summary: Harry suddenly appears naked during a family dinner and George is the first suspect. But he's the next to turn up naked. Is it a prank? A curse? Or an illness?Or the time were the Weasley siblings just tried to live their lifes, but suddenly had to do it in the nude.
Relationships: Angelina Johnson/George Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 62
Kudos: 42
Collections: Hermione's Nook Naked Weasley Fest!





	1. Harry

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was a rollercoaster! I might have been a bit last minute, so if you read this story before July 8th, give it another go. Now it's betaed and edited and all smooth and beautiful ;)
> 
> A huge thank you to all the fantastic people in Hermione's Nook (honestly go check it out on fb, it's amazing). Without your constant help and encouragement, I'd never been able to finish this (in time)!
> 
> Special thank you to LunaRavenclaw9 for her amazing last minute betaing that is still as good, as if you'd have had days to do it! <3
> 
> Also have you seen the art at the beginning? I'm so in love with it, and all the thanks for that goes to KoraKwidditch. You outdone yourself with this one!

Even after the war, Sunday dinner was usually a light hearted affair. Sure, the first few months had been hard on all of them, and even now, one and a half years later, the memories were still there. But they had started to heal. 

Still, today something was off about George. After paying close attention, the playful atmosphere that seemed to engulf the entire table somehow didn’t reach the prankster. Even though he talked to Angelina as usual, Harry could practically see a wall of ice building, layer by layer, between the two lovers. Something was definitely off.

“Mate, just because you came out as bi doesn’t mean you get to start ogling all my siblings now. Honestly, you with Ginny was almost too much for me!” Ron’s complaining pulled Harry from his musing.

“I wasn’t watching George because of that, Ron, but now that you mention it-” He tipped his head in contemplation, “He really isn’t half bad looking. I mean, he’s no Bill or Charlie! Have you ever seen Charlie’s tattoo? Especially the ones that stretch all the way from his shoulders down his thigh, how it curls around his v-muscles? That’s a sight to behold!”

Ron spluttered into his potato soup. “How-? No, I mean why-? But-? Harry! You can’t have all my siblings!”

“Don’t worry mate – you can keep Percy!”

Harry couldn’t hear Ron’s reaction, which he was sure would have been quite indignant, over the loud bang that startled everyone at the table. A glittering purple mist hung in the air. Blinking his eyes, Harry tried to clear his vision when all of a sudden, the mist disappeared as quickly as it appeared, though it seemed to be sucked up into Angelina. Georges smile reached his eyes again but it looked all wrong, there was a spiteful edge to it that Harry wasn’t used to seeing from the founder of WWW. When George turned his smile to Angelina for the first time that night, he shivered a little bit and thought, _this can’t be a good sign._

When Harry left that evening, he made sure to give Angelina an extra tight hug. It wasn’t that he had any feelings for his former quidditch captain, but they were friendly and he felt bad for her. Somehow, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t see her at next week’s Sunday dinner.

***

Harry had a busy week after that, so the explosion moved to the back of his mind. He’d had his first date since coming out to his friends, and the nerves of jumping back into the dating pool kind of took over his thoughts for a little while. Just before the next Sunday dinner, though, the nagging feeling of something not being right was back. It was almost like a sixth sense giving him a feeling of uneasiness. It wasn’t the Voldemort - panic inducing - type of uneasiness, but honestly, he wasn’t sure if this felt just as bad, if not worse. He was used to his senses acting up because of Voldemort. Thankfully, though, that hadn’t been a problem for a long time. But he really didn’t need a similar association with family functions. That was just not on. 

The first thing he noticed when he arrived for dinner was that George was sitting in the corner of the living room, looking ready to commit murder and Angelina nowhere in sight. This was so not Harry's cup of tea. With a curt nod to George, he fled the room to find Ron and Hermione, hoping that if the topic came up during dinner, someone else would handle it.

“Harry dear, good to see you! I’m so sorry I can’t hug you right now, but Ron tried to help and look at the mess he made.” Molly motioned to her clothes and around the kitchen. His gaze followed her movements and he noticed a light dusting of flour covering almost everything. “I can’t seem to get rid of it. Flour seems to have some kind of magic resistance. We’ve moved everything out to the lawn for this evening, and Merlin help me, I’m going to have to try and clean everything tomorrow, I guess. Would you be so kind, to take some of the bowls out with you, I’m going to grab George and we will bring the rest.”

“Not a problem at all Mrs. Weasley.” 

With a swish of his wand Harry charmed all the bowls waiting on the counter not covered in flour to follow him out the door. Settling them neatly on the big table outside, he had to smile at most of his adopted family that were gathered along the table on the new terrace. The terrace was a group effort, built as a thank you to Mr and Mrs Weasley for being their sanctuary last summer right after the war. By now, all the flowers had settled and it had become one of Harry's favourite spots around the Burrow. Just the two elder brothers were missing, as usual, and this week Ginny was at a training camp for the Harpies.

Shortly, after he had settled the bowls on the table, Mrs Weasley came out with a clearly happier George, who was himself now dusted in a hint of flour. They all settled into their usual routine of loud laughter, everyone talking over each other as bowls of food were passed around the table and plates were filled with delicious home cooking. _This is perfect_ , Harry thought.

Too perfect, he realised only moments later.

Nothing in his life was perfect for long – ever. He didn’t know why he thought it would be different all the sudden.

It happened as Ron handed him the plate filled with needle beans. Harry didn’t even flinch at the initial loud bang, but when he was engulfed in a cloud of rusty red fog, he grabbed for his wand, preparing to fight – this was not good.

The mist cleared as fast as it had turned up and Harry let go of a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Nothing attacked him. No one had suddenly turned up surrounding him and he wasn’t suddenly in a graveyard. All in all, this wasn’t so bad, but he didn’t understand why everyone was staring at him like he was the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor. He looked questioningly at Ron, who didn’t seem shocked, instead he was close to falling over due to suppressed laughter.

“What?” At his question, Ron completely lost it. He started cackling so hard he would have fallen off his chair, if not for Percy, whose lap he fell into insted.

“Well,” Hermione said, making sure to look Harry straight in the eyes, “you are kind of completely naked.” With that she rolled her eyes at Ron, but couldn’t hide the small smile on her face.

“I’m wha-” Harry looked down and tried to cover himself with a bit of the tablecloth. “What the fuck?” He had just ended his curse when the tablecloth vanished and left him uncovered again. “Are you kidding me?” This time his question was aimed at George, who was in a similar state as Ron. “Mate, I swear by our secret investor, that I had nothing to do with this. I wish I had. But sadly, I didn’t. If you find out who had a hand in it, do let me know. I’d pay a good galleon to offer something like it at the shop.”


	2. George

Monday seemed to be a typical beginning of the week day for George. The coffee machine gave up on him – it did that quite frequently, but since Fred was the one who had insisted on keeping it he just couldn’t replace it now – so he went to the coffee shop around the corner. As he was leaving someone ran into him and he spilled his entire cup on his new sunshine yellow coat. Needless to say, it was not a pretty sight. After he got to WWW, one of his suppliers called him to say that there were ‘adjustments to their order’, which translated to ‘no shrivel figs on offer for the foreseeable future.’ That was a huge problem, since they were the only supplier in Great Britain that he knew of. If they didn’t find any figs they were going to be out of stock of their instant darkness powder by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest if it was a slow week. So, George spent most of the morning on his knees – quite literally – to beg some old man to find him some shrivel figs. And he couldn’t even get through that task without more disaster hitting.

On the floo with the last supplier he hoped would be able to help him, Violet knocked on George’s office door. A barrage of expletives burst from his mouth as the supplier turned him down, stating figs were just too dangerous to handle. Honestly, just because the figs exploded if treated wrong, such wimps. If the growers would just look out for the temperature and humidity, the figs were as harmless as a pygmy puff. It was just incompetence and ignorance keeping them from offering it. And at this point George’s tolerance for those two things were at an all time low, though to be honest it never had been high to begin with.

Violet was usually one of his most stoic and unshakable salespeople, so watching her walk into his office to ask for help didn’t bode well for what was to come.

Even though George had been right in assuming he wasn’t going to like helping Violet with her problem, it didn’t help his mood when he’d followed Violet onto the sales floor and an angry father immediately started yelling at him. It seemed he’d become annoyed with his daughter’s pygmy puff and placed it into a delusional hat. Honestly people were idiots. So, while the man was yelling at him, he let his mind wander to something much more interesting. Namely Harry’s clothing problem, or nudity problem? Anyway. Even though he had offered more than a fair award for whoever did this to Harry, to let him in into the mystery, no one had taken him up on his offer.

He’d love to license that type of magic for his products, but he had to find out who created it first. And so far, he had no clue. And neither did Harry, who still wasn’t able to cover up at all. Being naked was not such a big deal, in George’s opinion, but somehow Harry was not all that comfortable. He really could be strange sometimes. Honestly in a pure appreciation for aesthetics the man really had nothing to hide. He was like a brother to him, but you had to admire perfection when you were granted access.

“-MY DAUGHTER IS STILL CRYING, AND I CAN’T EVEN ACCIO THAT DAMN CREATURE, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SUCH A GREAT IDEA TO MAKE THE DAMN HAT NOT RESPONSIVE TO ACCIO’S. WHY ARE PEOPLE EVEN BUYING YOUR STUFF?” The angry man bellowed.

He was still going on? Honestly! Of course the hat was not responsive to an Accio. It was out of the fucking defence against the dark arts collection. The idea was to use it, to safely hide people with it in the face of danger, not to get rid of an annoying pet and then complaining about it not being found anymore. Maybe George could run headfirst into a wall a few times. That would probably shut the idiot up, or it would at least get George out of this discussion. With a wicked thought, he really hoped they could uncover the mystery of who cursed Harry and more importantly, how. Then he could gift someone like this man with a product like that the next time he decided to take his incompetence at reading instructions out on salespeople who only did their job. Sadly, that was still a dream at this point. Maybe if he wished hard enough it could become reality.

“-MY LITTLE AMY IS CRYING AND SCREAMING NON-STOP BECAUSE WE CAN’T FIND HER ELLA ANYMORE. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING OR-”

Whatever it was the man was going to say, George would never find out. With a loud bang he was engulfed in a rusty red mist, and fuck if he wasn’t going to remember this.


	3. Ron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning* for explicit sexual content. If you wan't to skip it, feel free to start reading after the ~ ~ ~ You won't miss any major plot point, so please do whats best for you! I'm so glade you chose my fic to read so stay safe sunshines!

Hermione’s legs clenched around Rons neck, when she screamed out her release for all the world to hear. Well only for Ron to hear really, but that wasn’t the point. They had decided to try something new. Hermione had cast an excellent _Obscuro_ on herself, Ron hadn’t trusted himself to not muck up the spell in his excitement.

While he rested for a second with his head still firmly clasped between her beautiful thighs, he allowed himself a smug little smile. He loved how Hermione came undone under his ministrations. And today his amazing girlfriend lost control so much faster than usual. It was hard work to get her out of her head more often than not, and he was very proud of his ability to do so.

His smile broadened when her legs fell open again. He nipped her thigh just barely, slowly making his way back up her body. A string of moans underlined what he already knew. They were far from done.

Taking advantage of the fact that Hermione could only feel his movements, he leant back on his heels and let her untouched for a second. He could practically feel her senses searching for even a hint of his next move. “Ronald!” She let out, more a breathy whine than moan. Ron lapped it up like a dying man with a drop of water. He still couldn’t believe that she let him do this, that she was willing to explore so freely with him. He was definitely the luckiest man in the world and he wanted to show her exactly how he felt. In a graceful move, something he would definitely deny picking up from one of the yoga classes Ginny dared him to take, he let his tongue travel all the way from her mound of Venus, over her belly button to the sensitive skin right behind her right ear.

“You know, you are the most spectacular being that will ever walk this earth, don’t you?” And with that, he finally let himself sink into her. Her warm heat engulfed his length, when he was fully sheathed he could feel it spread to cover his entire body. And with every thrust, every moan, with every breath he became more lost in the dream that was Hermione Granger.

“Hermione I can’t-, I’ll-, oh Godric-”

“Just come for me Ron, I’m all yours right now.” Her beautiful voice, wrecked from what he was doing to her, was what finally pushed him over the edge into a world full of exploding colours, sensations and Hermione’s name on his tongue.

**~ ~ ~**

“Fuck me, that was brilliant Hermione. Did you-?”

“I thought that’s what we just did.” Hermione chuckled as she fumbled for her wand on the nightstand, finally disappearing the blindfold with a swish. “Also, no I didn’t come again, but don’t worry, that really wasn’t in the books anyway. I can’t quit thinking about Harry and now George. I feel like I am missing something important here.”

Just a year ago her statement would have send him spiralling into depressive thoughts of Hermione thinking about Harry while having sex with him which would have guaranteed jealous outburst. But now, Ron was proud of the strides he’d made because he just smiled at her, knowing her remark had nothing to do with the things they had just finished doing to each other.

“You know how much I love you talking about my brother and our best friend right after we had spectacular sex, darling, but since I know that’s just how your amazing brain works and I still love you – despite that brain of yours! – Ouch!” He should have known he would earn himself a slap with that comment, but even though his thigh was stinging he still smiled contently. “As I was saying, since I do know and love you, I already feel you itching to leave the bed and clean up. Just go so you will be back soon enough to tell me what you thought about our little experiment. Though, I feel I already know the result.”

His teasing tone was only met with a wink when Hermione climbed out of bed, but he was feeling much too comfortable to move much. He grabbed his wand and aimed a cleaning charm first on himself and then on the cover thinking, _that should do till tomorrow_. He contemplated a quick search for the blanket, but it had been lost somewhere in the throes of passion meaning it was laying somewhere on the ground most likely. Totally out of reach from his comfy position. Ah well, Hermione would surely bring it with her, when she came back to curl up next to him.

“Oh Ron, you couldn’t even get the blanket?” her mocking expiration made him all warm inside.

“Naa, I knew you’d come back to save me from the cold! So what are you waiting for? Can’t you see your damsel in distress is laying here all naked and cold?”

Hermione started to really laugh now. “Sure, my little princess, I won’t make you wait a second longer.” And with that she curled up beside him and pulled the blanket over them both.

The cosy perfection lasted for one blissful moment before the blanket vanished with a puff into thin air.

With a jolt Ron sat up and looked at Hermione. His shock was mirrored in her eyes. “You or me?” He needed to be strategic about this. 

“Let’s find out!” The amazing thing about Hermione was, she was so used to craziness that she just went along with it at this point. So they both grabbed a cushion to cover them with. Only for both to vanish in thin air moments later.

“Well shit. I think we have a problem!”

“And they call me a know-it-all. Come on, I think it’s time to visit Harry.”

“But Hermione-”

“If your sentence ends with, we are naked... I’m honestly going to throttle you. Yes, we _are_ naked, and so is Harry. It’s nothing any of us hasn’t seen before, or need I refresh your memory of us living together in a tent for months?”

“No, actually, that’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say, what if the press finds out about this?”

***

Dropping out of Harry's floo, Ron expected a lot of things, especially Harry in the nude, but he still drew in a gasp of air when he took in the scene in front of him.

“What the fuck?!”

“Oh, hi Ron. So you came to join the team as well? Just grab yourself a drink and I’ll conjure another chair.”

Ron looked around wide eyed. Harry's living room was newly decorated with plastic palm trees and what looked like a Waikiki-style bar where the secretary was originally located. The floor was made out of sand – that surprisingly didn’t stick to him – and Harry as well as George, were laying in two beach chairs, with a cocktail in their hand and nothing on but sunglasses.

“Ronniekins! Could you hand me another tiny umbrella from the bar, the violently purple one, please? Mine disappeared in an – experiment.”

Harry just snorted into his drink and threw a LOOK at George. “Experiment? Suuure.”

While Ron still looked dumbfounded at Harry and his brother, Hermione appeared in the fireplace. With a short look she took in the scene, strode over to the bar and mixed some things together.

Ron was so mesmerised by the movement of her body while she shook her drink, he didn’t even realise that Hermione had spoken.

“Ron, if you don’t start listening while staring you won’t get a drink!”

Shaking his head, he continued to stare at his girlfriend. “I-”

“Don’t. Just try to listen now!” She winked at him and leant over the bar to grab some limes, Ron decided at that moment that this was plain torture.

“You know, Harry, I love watching couple quarrels, it’s so entertaining. But I’m not sure if I am up for the sort of state Ron is working himself into if Hermione keeps this up.”

Ron turned beet red, not because George was wrong, but because he already felt that his prediction was going to be right if Hermione continued her movements much longer. Damn hormones. He let himself fall into a newly conjured beach chair and grabbed a nearby cushion to place it strategically in front of his crotch. Sadly, he had forgotten that wouldn’t work and with a poof the cushion disappeared and everyone’s eyes were back at his crotch. Damn it.

“That won’t work, little brother of mine. You can wear hats and sunglasses, but only on your head and only if it doesn’t cover anything below your eyes. Believe me, we tried everything! I’m still not sure where the things go when they disappear, I just hope it’s a nice place because of the pygmy puff.”

“The pygmy puff?” Hermione questioned, her tone dangerously even. All the alarm bells in Ron’s head went off, but George just continued, not noticing her pointed stare.

“Yeah. You know, I really don’t mind being naked and all. I mean look at me, I have nothing to hide. But there are a lot of children at the shop and it happened while an idiotic customer was shouting at me, so I might have grabbed what was next to me and tried to save some decorum. Don’t worry, it got me right before it disappeared.” He said while pointing at a slash right through is pubic hair. “Stupid creature.”

Hermione just groaned, levitated one drink over to Ron and drank the second right out of the mixer, before she immediately started mixing another one.

“If I look around, I’ll make a wild guess and state you experimented a bit, but didn’t find anything. Which means at this point, you’ve given up. Correct?”

“Well,” Harry said, a bit shocked at Hermione mixing a new round of drinks. This time it seemed to be enough for all of them. “We know, as George already stated, that you can’t cover up, only hair and eyes. But for example, if you are standing in front of a wall, or sleeping on your tummy, the wall or the bad won’t disappear. Too bad honestly, imagine I could have made Walburga disappear with my cock. That would have been something for the annals.” George and Harry were giggling now. “Oh, and we know Angelina has it as well, but because of _someone,_ ” pointedly looking at George as he continued, “she doesn’t want to join us here. And we didn’t try what happens if you cover up with the – uhm – help, of other people, for obvious reasons.”

After that short summary Hermione looked deep in thought when the chime of the floo pulled Ron out of his contemplations.

“POTTER! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TIME? I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD ONE DATE. I WANT TO REPEAT THAT: ONE! DATE! WITH YOU AND ALREADY SHIT IS HAPPENING. I’M COMING THROUGH NOW, AND YOU BETTER HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR ME.”

Before anyone could react, a red faced, totally naked Draco Malfoy appeared in the beached up living room and looked wide eyed at them all.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first atteped of smut with two people (and no dementor) involved. So please let me know, what you thought!


	4. Ginny and Charlie

Fleeing to the Leaky Cauldron had been one of the best decisions she ever had. Ginny wasn’t really bothered by her mom walking around naked, nor by the constant strategic floo calls. She was just reminded of old times, and nakedness was a much nicer topic than Voldemort, that’s for sure, but after the ministry had waived a quarantine degree for everyone affected by what was now called _the nakedness_ she was still allowed to walk free. Due to their mother being uncomfortable since Ginny and Charlie were still clothed while she wasn’t, the two siblings decided to rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron.

“You know, Charlie, we should have done this much earlier, I think. This can be a great sibling bonding experience, help us become closer as adults..”

She was sure that she had sounded reasonable, but Charlie still roared with laughter. That stung a bit more than she was willing to admit. It had been such a great night so far and she really thought it could help their relationship.

Charlie had left for Romania before she even turned ten. He only ever saw her as the little sister that needed a watchful eye, someone who was still too little to get into ‘adult shenanigans’ with her brothers. Today had been the first time she felt like her brother could see the woman she had turned into instead of the little girl she had been. But now he was laughing at her, she couldn’t believe this.

Her thoughts must have been very plain on her face, since Charlie abruptly quit laughing without her even muttering another word.

“Don’t look like a kicked puppy little sister. I’m only laughing because there is no way I can ever have you visit me at the sanctuary. Do you know what kind of a riot you’d produce there? We’ve been here for less than fifteen minutes; you are drinking your second Gin and tonic – by the way, do you drink those because they are actually good or just because of the name? – and if my assumptions are correct, if you would as much as wink at any one of about seventy-five percent of these patrons you wouldn’t have to pay for a single drink tonight. Or go to bed lonely for that matter. I swear to Merlin last time I looked you were hip high, hardcore fangirling over Harry Potter and stealing our brooms out of the shack while thinking we didn’t notice. Now, here we are, you’re nearly my height, Harry is your ex. Men, women and everyone in between throws themselves at your feet and you don’t even seem to notice because all you can focus on is quidditch.”

With a proud look, he continued, “You also outshined everyone of your six elder brothers and did something that none of us ever achieved. You became a bloody quidditch star. I’m really sorry for making you think anything less than you should about yourself, but I’m over here still trying to figure out when my little sister even got breasts. I’m always going to feel protective of you, and I’m not even going to apologise for that. But I don’t even know what to protect anymore. I feel like the world may need saving from you more than the other way around.”

Now it was Ginny’s turn to giggle.

“I think the world is safe from me for a while, and so are they.” She winked at Charlie while nodding to a group in a booth obviously staring at them. “I might have met someone, but if there is someone to your fancy then don’t let me hold you back. Only one rule! No strangers in our room. And before you ask, meeting them tonight still makes them a stranger!”

“I didn’t know that needed clarification on that, but sure, I agree to your terms. But I’m not interested. They’re just not for me.”

“Not for you?” Ginny giggled again – gosh she hadn’t done that in ages, what was wrong with her? “You mean they can’t compete with your dragons or is it that they aren’t as exciting as your dragons?”

Charlie tried to slap her arm for that comment, but she was faster and jumped from her chair to escape him. But the joy from escaping her brother was only short lived, as Charlie attempted to chase her, they were interrupted by Hanna’s _Sonoroused_ voice.

“Perfect, we have two volunteers for our first karaoke song of the night. As you know at the Leaky Cauldron it’s custom for us to let magic decide which song suits you best and in order of the spreading nakedness we decided today's topic would be ‘naked songs’! Have fun and Ginny please guide your companion up to the stage and show us what you’ve got.”

Karaoke? Really? She contemplated apparating on the spot for a second, but where would she go? This must be better than spending the night with an uncomfortable mother or an extremely too comfortable brother and ex-boyfriend. She wouldn’t be surprised if they both turned into nudists after this, actually.

“Ok, Hanna, would you make us two fire whiskeys and let us know the title? That would be much appreciated!”

“Sure sunshine, the whiskey will wait on stage for you and for the song? We start with you can leave your hat on. Looks like the magic likes to be cliché today.”

It wasn’t nearly as bad as Ginny had feared. Charlie actually had a decent singing voice and even though the Joe Cocker song was more shouting than singing, it was really, really fun. Until the last line when, with some not-very-inspiring dance moves, they turned, both of them shouting “You can leave your hat on!” into the mic only to suddenly become surrounded by rusty red mist which left them stark naked in the middle of the stage with a fully packed Leaky Cauldron staring at them on a Friday night.

“I kind of wish, I had that hat now.” Was the only thing she could think of saying.


	5. Bill and Percy

Bill was used to meetings that took hours more often than not. He expected no less when working for a bank and, for Godric’s sake, couldn’t others remember that as well. Curse breaking sounded like such an action filled career, but for every day of action he had, there were at least ten days of meetings and research to sit through. Not that he was complaining, mind you, he was just used to these redundant discussions. It seemed they were inherent for these meetings, whatever topic they were about.

Sadly, that couldn’t be said for most of his family. Charlie had carved the third dragon head into the table leg in front of him, Ginny looked like she had taken one of the WWW daydream charms, Ron dozed in his chair and George was enthusiastically slurping his drink, as if none of this affected him, while Percy summed up the information he had gotten from the Ministry.

Even Bill had to agree that Percy’s monotone voice wasn’t the most interesting to listen to, but him doing all of it in the nude did give the presentation a little flair.

“-What I was trying to say was, after lengthy tests from the specialist at St Mungo's, the Ministry doesn’t think that this is a new wizarding illness. They think it is along the lines of a curse that is spreading, and we-” Percy made a sweeping gesture at this point “-are the first known affected, with Harry being person zero. That is why the ministry thinks it was created to harm Harry, specifically, but somehow went wild instead.”

Percy sat back down with a complacent smile and Bill observed that Harry relaxed a bit now that he wasn’t eye level with Percy’s penis any longer. In comparison to the others in attendance, the raven haired man hadn’t looked away from Percy even once while he was speaking and even now his eyes continued to be riveted to the spot Percy had just stood in with what looked like a huge effort. _Interesting!_

“But Potter here wasn’t the first infected now, was he? So please explain to me how he could be person one!” the blond man next to Harry drawled while Harry's eyes seemed to fixate the opposite wall even harder. _Ah, so not Percy then, but definitely - a - him. Who would have thought?_

“What do you mean, Harry wasn’t the first to be affected, Malfoy?” Percy asked, frantically searching through his papers. “Everything states that Harry was the first to be documented with the effects and then George, you all were infected sometime later, that’s what my notes say.”

“Angi was the first.” Georg murmured and looked down at his toes. “But she didn’t want to stay with us after all, so yeah, Angi was fist, even though for her it was a bit different.” The last part was hardly even understandable.

Realisation dawned on Bill’s face. “What happened George?”

“I swear to Merlin, I didn’t do it. Why does it always sound like you are trying to blame me? I even wanted to buy the magical theory behind it if you remember!” George defences rose like well-oiled machinery. 

“No George, that was not what I was saying. I said, tell us what happened.”

It was devastating to see how his brother slumped back down into his chair, as if the memory was too much.

“I don’t think that’s relevant right now, we need to figure out how to spare the world from the perfection that is our bodies.”

It was nice to hear him joking, but his voice was flat and it trembled a bit. Bill felt really bad that he had to put his little brother in this position, but he had a nagging feeling that this had something to do with their paradigm. Before he could say anything else, Hermione stood up and walked over to him.

“George look at me.” If kneeling down next to his naked brother was really the smartest move, Bill wasn't sure, but George looked like he was a bit more relaxed than just a moment before even if his eyes were filled with hurt and sadness when he looked up. “Just tell us, please.”

“I don’t think I can, Hermione. I don’t even know if there is anything to say that you don’t know already? We fought, we fucked, we fought again, we broke up. End of story.”

“You know you can tell us everything, we are family. But right now Bill has an idea – and I think I know where he is coming from – but to make sure we need you to tell us your story. All of it, not the nice and short version, but all of it.”

“Yeah sure, we are all family, like Harry and Ginny are family and that’s why she secretly crawled in his bed for over a year or Luna, I don’t even know why she is here, and, of course, Malfoy is family to all of us.” He said with great sarcasm. “No Hermione, we are all here out of necessity, don’t fool yourself in believing anything else.”

“I’m just here because I’m dating your sister and I thought she’d like some company. I also wanted to check on the Nargle infestation here, make sure Harry is ok.”

Luna spoke in her typical dreamy voice, as if this was the most natural thing of all and she didn’t just cause everyone to whip their heads in her and Ginny’s direction. It was like she didn’t even realise that she had just outed them both in front of all of Ginny’s brothers.

“Ah, yeah, well, surprise.” Even with a blush dusting her face and shock sparkling in her eyes, Ginny was still smiling like the Cheshire Cat when she finally spoke after Luna’s revelation, _Good for her!_

“Could we please circle back to solving this problem and keep the family confessions for later? I can’t believe I have to spell this out, but if Granger and curse breaker brother here have an idea, I’m quite sure there is something to it. Since I’d really appreciate to, at the very least, be able to sleep with a blanket again, I can offer to wait outside if you don’t want me around for story time.”

Malfoy looked at George while he spoke, but it was Hermione who answered.

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Draco, but thanks for the offer. I’m quite sure, we will need your knowledge sooner or later, so just stay so we won’t have to go through it all over again.” With that she turned to George and Bill saw the sharp edge that crept into her eyes as she basically demanded, “Go on George, tell us what happened.”

And he did. He told them the story of a relationship that was over before it even began, built on the foundation of a dead man as the only thing that truly linked them together. Fred had been their beginning, but he had also been their end. George explained how, over time, the things that reminded them about Fred slowly faded away. They were met with the reality that no one would ever be able to substitute him and because of that, their circle of doom started. They had fought, viciously, trying to wound each other more and more so they could forget about the pain they were both trying to repress. Every time the pain became too much, they fell back into bed, sex becoming another means of forgetting. The cycle continued for months until the last Sunday dinner Angelina came to, a week before this whole disaster began.

There was a huge fight before dinner, but before that things had seemed to be better recently. George even stated that he had hoped for a moment, hoped they had finally found a way to make it work. Hope that maybe they could even start to heal, but it was just the calm before the final storm. After that argument, when they’d fallen into bed to complete their cycle one last time, Angelina had called him Fred. Had screamed the wrong name out in a moment of ecstasy and it had all come crashing down in pieces. Sharp cutting bits, that left neither of them unharmed. They had screamed and shouted and cursed at each other and then it was time for family dinner.

George had tried to curse her while they were eating – a nasty hex, that would have shown her vulnerability to all the world. She ended up blocking his hex and instead aimed a curse at him that would have embarrassed him in front of his family. The obvious results were a big bang, purple glitter and a nasty break up later at home.

The not so obvious result was an infectious curse of nakedness, they had all fallen prey to.

As Bill heard George’s tale and pieced together the missing links he repeatedly thought how communication was the most important thing in a relationship, any relationship. Which meant he should probably start to talk more with his siblings. He was the oldest brother after all and should be there to help them not get into situations which threatened to expose the whole wizarding world.

After they had finally figured out the puzzle of the infectious curse. It didn’t take long for St Mungo’s to create an antidote and disperse it to anyone who had been infected. They even gave it to anyone who could possibly have been associated with one of the infected before they’d quarantined themselves. 

Bill was thankful to be able to wear clothes again, though he did realise how freeing being naked could feel sometimes. That was why, at this very moment, the eldest Weasley brother could be found walking naked in the woods behind his home. Something that had become a new routine for him after being administered the antidote. You were never too old to learn about new things you enjoy in life, even if you found it out in one of the weirdest ways possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic. I hope you had fun with it. Please leave a kudo or a comment, since we writers are living from them ;) Also 100 sunny points for whoever can tell me how the curse spread ;)


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